Grateful

I have good days and bad days while I try and pick up the pieces of what I thought my life was.

The hardest part is recognizing what was a lie.

I'm finding that there were more lies then there were truths...and that's hard.

At the very start of this whole Hot Mess that has become my life, I prayed that God would let me know REALLY CLEARLY what I should do.

I don't think I'll ever doubt that God answers prayers again. I don't think I could have gotten a more clearly repeated answer if he had stomped down here and shouted it in my face.

I'm pretty sure, He feels like he has had to do exactly that...several times in the last 5 weeks.

I know what answer I wanted to hear...

I know that I do believe in forgiveness and repentance...

But what I "want" and what's happening are two different things. Very different things.

I am so glad I have wonderful friends, that have been patient, kind and generous with their time and energy to help me through this time.

I don't know what I would do without them. All of you keep me focused on the good things in my life and help me see how much the future has to offer.