Friday, September 19, 2014

Lost and Found

A lot has happened in my life in the last month.

My marriage has been struggling for a long while and I finally reached the point that I didn't feel like I could continue.

If I have one particular strength, it's being able to put one foot in front of the other and just continue.

If I have one particular weakness, it's putting one foot in front of the other long past when I should have stopped.

I think that's what I like about marathons. At a certain point talent stops being important and it really comes down to who is still going.

I've never quite a race before. Don't get me wrong, there have been some close calls, but I've never gotten to the point where I just couldn't anymore.

But the last couple of months I started catching myself whispering under my breath "you can do this", just to get through the day.

Jason and I never saw each other. Our interests didn't overlap. He was unhappy and felt ignored. I was unhappy and felt the same.
The problems I thought we were having were very real. But over Labor Day I found out about the "other" woman.

I'm trying to put my life back together, and figure out what I'm going to do.

I'm not sure when my life turned into a bad TV movie, but that's what it feels like.

I never thought that I would be dealing with all this.

I look in the mirror and I don't recognize the person looking back at me.

I just feel like I've lost myself in all of this and don't know where to even start in healing and trying to be "me" again.

1 comment:

Amy @ Run Mom Run said...

I'm so sorry things are so hard. I'm sorry things fell apart.